WINDY YEARS

Three years...sometimes I thought that I had no strength and hope to continue my relationship with him. The pain, the confusion, the misunderstanding, the fight, the neglection, the weariness,...too many things happened. The distance between me and him hindered us to talk and to see an eye to eye. I became greedy and self-centered, I demanded assurance from time to time. Talked through phone really frustrated me. There was a time I felt so far from him. I cannot reach his heart, I felt like a stranger. He was also busy with his work.

I tried with all my will..God knew how hard I tried. I talked to and I asked God so many things. I cried and I wept over my woes silently - in my prayer, in my sleep, in my dreams. I got my payment for breaking other's heart. I ignored and heartlessly brushed off several my admirers before. I tore their letters, I turned down their 'love'. I sometimes played with their emotions. I was aloof. This was my Hukum Karma.

Despite of all my misery, there was one thing that made me stand for our love. THE RING.

He came to his convocation. His family cannot come along with him. He asked me to escort and to accompany him during the convo. So, I went in on his ticket to see him took his graduation cert. I thought he was so handsome and great in his suit. It was giving me new spirit to succeed my studies. I wanted to grad like him. I had to. I wanted to get even with him. I wanted to be able to stand and to look straight to his eyes without feeling low and ashame. I have my own dignity, self-esteem and wanted to be respectful. Above all, I wanted him to be proud with me and I don't want him to look down on me in future! It was so meaningful to both of us.

Before he went back to state, he gave me a ring, a heart shaped ring. He told me he bought the ring with his first payment. I was so touched and it was becoming the strongest glue that sealed my promises to him. With God's help we passed the windy years.