The Suspicious Mind Of Me

Marriage to me is two hearts and two souls unification. Remembering those days, I sometimes wondered and couldn't thank enough everybody who was involved in making my marriage ceremony done in a very smooth and meaningful ways. I have reasons why I kept flattering to it. Before I decided to marry, like others I also had ups and downs in my relationship with my boyfriend (now is my husband).

I got to knew him in my first semester at the university. He was our student club's chairman. At first I didn't really notice him because at that time, I was so busy with my new life as a university student. My schedule was so tight, I was so confused what subjects I must took, I was so tensed for not being able to catch up my studies and I also had to be very-extra careful with my spending budget. I had to deal with my homesickness. Mind you, I don't know what to do first thing firsts.

One day, the club called all the state's students. They organized a so called 'state student's orientation' to get to know each other. We were given a briefing and talk about 'university's life'. They were being very helpful actually. They stuffed us information like the importance of scoring high in first semester (such as score 3.5 CGPA and above, and it will be our most valuable collateral to gain success until the end of our final year!)

At first the briefing went easygoing to listen, but after a while they started to brainwash all of us, played with our emotion and fearness (fear to be kicked out of the university before time) and etc. I was so tensed and my head swirled. My pent-up feelings for months lastly blurted out like a broken dam. My tears dropped and my heart was ached for comforting words and peaceful place. What on earth they were doing...

I guess the seniors were startled to see me in tears silently. I hate this moment. I am until now. I was so proud of my self. So well composed-never show my true feelings to others, I used to cry alone in a secluded place with no one to see me or I dropped my tears when I had my bath..OMG..I hate that moments. The moments I was lost and weakened by that man's words.